In response, I'm thinking... I can handle this! After all, just last night, I'm proud to say my daughter Morgan sang a beautiful solo! If she can get up and sing solo, surely I can get up and talk!
Morgan prefers people know that she is wearing a wig in this video. She likes to keep her hair short and very much dislikes the pink pants she is "acting" in, which I still say look wonderful on her, but also recognize they are not her preference right now :-)
What I'm about to say is similar to what I shared a few months ago, but somehow it seems even more important to me now. A lot has changed since then, while a lot has stayed the same. Perhaps of most significant impact was the fact that a young boy, about the same age and in the same school as my son Connor, and at times with much in common with my son, is gone now. This story has sadly proven once again that our systems are very broken, making the message that we need change so much more strong!
Since I last spoke in the church I attend regularly, I've realized a few details of my previous talk were just wrong.. My daughter was 9 in the picture, not 7 (seems my Math skills may need some polish), and the show I have worked out my uncertain about the name of the show I'd seen on TV that had major impact - it was "The Boys of St. Vincent" and not "In the Name of the Father" - it turns out the latter was released a few years later, while the former was on CBC at the time I recall the story from in 1992.
Today, my talk is not about why I participate in the Coldest Night of the Year, but instead about why I "Walk the Walk for Autism", but overall the message is the same.
Below is what I prepared for today, as some of you have expressed interest and are unable to come see me speak today.
Anyway, I'm heading out the door now to Pictou United Church, hoping those butterflies get in formation!
---
Introduction
To start, I'd like to share a favourite picture of my daughter, Morgan, taken a few years ago when she was 9 years old. Note the picture was taken in October 2013, when our son Connor was 11 years old and our son Tom was 13 years old. I think it will make you smile and I feel it illustrates what I’m truly passionate about now.
As the event organizers would tell you:
Please know that all members of my family are very aware of the personal details that I'm going to share about them. They understand my reasons for sharing and have indicated they are comfortable with me doing so. Please also know that I’m excited about the possibilities of what we might also do together after you hear our story.
Reason #1 - Be a Good Christian
I was born to very young parents and I had a stay-at-home mother and hard-working father during my childhood. I was named with my parents' faith in mind - as a Christian - a follower of Christ. My name is Christine.
As my mother was raised Catholic, I was baptized, had my first communion, and confirmed myself as a Christian while member of the Stella Maris Parish Catholic Church. I also sometimes attended the Pictou United Church as a child, when my father's parents visited.
As a young girl, I enjoyed going to Girl Guides, Catechism and Church Choir. I spent a great deal of time outside, I loved to swim, and we did a lot of camping as a family as well. There are moments from those experiences that I suppose shaped who I am now.
In Girl Guides, we recited a promise... This included words like I promise to do my best and To help other people at all times.
In Catechism, I especially loved learning about the Beatitudes, which I confess I had to "Google" to remind myself about the details of when preparing this story now many years later. Referenced from biblestudy.org, some take "beatitude" to mean "beautiful attitudes", while others say "beatitude" comes from the Latin meaning "happy" or "blessed." It is said that Jesus pronounced, in his first sermon, many blessings to those who obey God and maintain a loving attitude pleasing to him. He stated, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." Based on those teachings, I grew up dearly wanting to live a righteous life. I enjoyed volunteering even in those early years, as I still very actively do today.
Reason #1 to walk then... I want to live according to the moral code I was taught as a child, to be a good Christian, to help other people.
Reason #2 – Provide Mentors
As part of Church Choir, I was generally a very quiet kid, except when I became like a “little professor” at times, talking about song lyrics. I loved to sing, especially solo in church or to my family. Many, many hours were spent by choice alone in my room, writing out and memorizing lyrics to songs and then trying to teach them to other people… songs like:
I am grateful for the activities I was able to participate in as a child. Leaders of those were my early mentors. They allowed me to feel like I belonged in our community, despite my “original” behaviours.
As I went out into the world as a young adult, I myself experienced some of the terrible situations I had learned about in that Sociology class. I found myself sometimes crying for what seemed to me to be no apparent reason, which I have come to learn can be a symptom of mental disorder. One evening, I sat watching a docudrama on TV with my friend Cecil that was called "The Boys of St. Vincent", where I learned some of the terrible things that some of the priests in the Catholic Church did, and how the Catholic Church looked upon people who are homosexual. I also experienced a terrible situation related to addiction that I guess was quite traumatic for me, as I still struggle at times to process what happened. In May 1994, my world really crashed. Some of you may even remember this, as I found myself attending Lyon’s Brook United and I reflect now that possibly some of you were there. I really don't remember it well - it was so awful. Our friend Cecil was killed by a drunk driver. Following that, I am sad to reflect that I lost my faith for a while. What I experienced were my first strong feelings of mental disorder, which I continue to struggle with at times now.
I reflect that I have been very fortunate though. In April 1995, about a year after Cecil's accident, I was hired to work for Bell Northern Research. I made my way to Ottawa, a quiet, young girl, and walked into Carling - a HUGE building with many cubicles and many hallways, and a high glass ceiling at the center. It was beyond overwhelming. For the better part of a decade, I quite quietly went to work each day, did the work I was asked to do, and built my career with a group of people who were generally great to me while mystified by how quiet I was.
At this time early in my career and when I was feeling most vulnerable, I was assigned mentors who helped me through. In fact, these mentors helped me so much that I have ended up taking on many leadership roles in a variety of non-profit organizations, where I have had the pleasure of getting to know many of you in this room today and hope to get to know many more of you. Later this month, I will also become an official member of Lyon’s Brook United Church, reaffirming my faith as a Christian.
One such organization that I am now involved with is Autism Pictou County. Now, I don’t know about you, but when I choose to volunteer, I tend to choose to do so only if I can make a personal connection with the cause, as there are hundreds of thousands of charities out there and I recognize I cannot be part of all of them. Through this organization, I have received tremendous personal support.
Reason #2 to walk then... I like the idea that by walking I might help ensure mentors are available, to be a positive influence as my mentors were for me. I want all people to be as fortunate as I have been.
Reason #3 – Help Improve Education and Health Systems
Now a mother of three teenagers, I reflect on the challenges my early adult years brought. I have watched my children going through their own challenging experiences, causing me great moments of reflection and worry, but also moments when I am thankful to have gone through what I have, giving perspective I suppose. Through these experiences, I have identified another very big reason to walk. This reason is one I have grown to be particularly passionate about.
In 2000, after 13 years together, Kevin and I decided to have our first son, Tommy. We learned that it's very true what people say... There really is no manual provided to help you raise children. Tommy was a very restless baby. Nursing was very challenging, though something I did eventually manage to figure out how to do. We would put Tommy in a bouncy chair and take turns using our hands or feet to bounce him to sleep, at times it seemed 24x7, for about the entire first year. Eventually, Tommy settled down, at least enough to sleep properly at night. Gradually, Tommy, or Tom as he now prefers to be called, settled down a lot.
Two years after Tom was born, in 2002, Kevin and I decided to have another baby, and we were blessed with our second son, Connor. We were initially relieved that Connor was a very easy-going baby. As a toddler, we observed Connor turning in circles to music and doing knee bends, trying to imitate his big brother Tommy. This was a very sweet time for us.
However, when Connor turned about 1 year and 4 months old, things really changed with him. That was when we made the decision that we were too overwhelmed to raise our kids without family support, and so we decided to move from Ottawa back home to Pictou. Connor had a very tough time getting to sleep and was screaming a lot as well. Connor was nearly 4 years old before I think we felt much control again as parents. Luckily, we had lots of support from family.
That was when, in 2004, we decided to have our third child, our daughter Morgan. Morgan proved to be a pretty easy to handle baby in comparison to our boys. Morgan has her own challenges though, as we all seem to in this world. After eating practically everything we’d put in front of her, at about age 2 and much like Connor, Morgan suddenly changed. She became a child who does not eat any meat other than bacon, gets her protein generally from BBQ seasoned peanuts or peanut butter, and does not eat any vegetables other than French fries, despite fact that at one point she would eat things like chili or stew.
In 2006, Connor started preschool. I feel gratitude that my sister introduced us to a very wonderful person who ran what she called a Virtues Preschool at her home, where our children had the pleasure of attending. That is where we first learned about the Virtues Project, which is something I've really come to love. The project describes virtues as the many gifts of character that are inherent in all of us, such as grace, kindness, understanding, and of course patience, and teaches people strategies that, as The Virtues Project™ web site states:
When Connor was 5 years old, we started the process to try to get professional help. We were observing periods of "rage" that were very frightening. That was also when I grew to have very strong feelings that there is something very broken in our education and health systems.
In 2007, I learned that a child in school cannot get the extra support of an Educational Assistant, as it was very apparent Connor needed, unless the child's parent arranges for a professional diagnosis to label what the child is experiencing. If the child is not professionally labeled with a condition where it can be clearly documented that support is needed, the child can be placed in a classroom with just one adult teacher who has insufficient support and often no training to manage the child, while also teaching the other children in the room. Worse, the procedures to get a diagnosis are very long and painful. You are forced to go on long waiting lists, dig through all your past, answer many, many questionnaires, ask the child's teachers to also answer questionnaires, speak to many, many professionals, talk about all sorts of detail, to be scrutinized on a very personal level, leading at least for me to feelings of very low self-esteem. I learned it is very hard to hear that your child has a mental disorder, perhaps genetically caused, but even more difficult when you and even your child's teachers know your child is struggling and mental health professionals repeatedly tell you there is no disorder that they can observe and therefore no label they can provide to ensure your child gets support.
From 2007 to end of 2010, we consulted over 20 different professionals in the public health system to try to get a diagnosis for Connor, all to no avail and documented in great detail! I became more and more frustrated as I especially watched our son experience bouts of crying, rage and running away. We built a fence in our backyard to try to keep him safe from the highway and the water nearby.
In December 2010, when Connor was in Grade 3, we had a very serious meeting with our son's elementary school, which also operated as a Virtues School, which is something we are also very grateful for. School staff were incredibly supportive, despite the limited resources they had available. It was very clear they loved our son, as we do, but they were also very concerned.
Luckily, in about January 2011, I stumbled on a book called "The Explosive Child" that seemed to describe our son very well. Also, I was somehow directed to a CBC article called "The Boy Inside" - describing Asperger's Syndrome. I began to read lots of material about this condition - and this got me REALLY excited!
That is when I started a personal blog, which I call "Is It Asperger's?", and which I still spend time writing in now, 7 years later. In that month alone, I wrote 36 blog posts as I processed what we were going through in our family, and the community support I received in that time led me to have courage, I will forever remember with love.
In February 2011, I finally gave up on our public health system and hired a
private psychologist and also a psychiatrist. In April 2011, when he was 9
years of age, we finally had a diagnosis for Connor, which included
high-functioning autism referred to as Asperger's Syndrome. At last, we started
to get better support.
It was not too long after that when I learned about the Pictou County Children with Autism Support Group, which has since renamed itself to Autism Pictou County. As I said before, this group provided me with mentors – people who helped me understand that I was not alone and who continue to help me now to find ways to deal with the many challenges that families dealing with Autistic Spectrum Disorders like Asperger’s Syndrome face. It was here that I learned that, if one child in the family is diagnosed with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, often it is the case that others in the family experience mental disorders on the autism spectrum as well. Furthermore, people working in the field of I.T. are often diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorders as well.
To this day, now at the age of 13, our daughter Morgan continues to struggle with eating. She really has not developed better eating habits since the age of 2. We believe now that she may be struggling with something referred to as Sensory Processing Disorder, and so are working on getting her better support with that in mind. Morgan is also a very happy teenager who currently loves drama and is taking singing lessons.
Last year, at age 16, our son Tom started to recognize that he was having major challenges with focus in school. He began to struggle academically compared to his earlier years, and he developed severe acid reflux. To try to manage this, Tom decided to seek professional support, and this resulted in him being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Knowing this has helped Tom to learn ways to address his feelings of disorder. Now, at age 17, Tom is a healthy teenager who loves basketball, music and rugby.
Now in Grade 10 and 15 years old, which I mentioned earlier was a pivotal year for me, I am pleased to report that Connor is doing quite well, too! Connor wants you to know that he thinks having Asperger's Syndrome is great - it's the reason he is so great at Math!
Our family is in a much better place now than when we first became involved with Autism Pictou County back in 2013. The programs and social activities offered by this group, such as art, swimming and music therapy, the monthly parent meetings, and more, give us opportunities to socialize with people who relate to what we experience and often lead us to solutions, despite fact the education and mental health systems are so very difficult to navigate to get support. We are also working together to try to change those systems.
Reason #3 to walk then... The reason I am most passionate about... I invite you to please take a moment to reflect on my family's story. Consider how much love and support we have, but also all the intense work we've done to ensure we had "labels" for the disorders that we have experienced and to ensure support. Put yourself in place of a young family who perhaps is experiencing the same feelings of disorder that we face, but without that intense support system.
I reflect that there are so MANY stories of people experiencing mental disorders who do NOT receive the support they dearly need in life. Those people then "explode", sort of like the explosive child I had read about, and do terrible things. Every time I hear another story about someone going into a church or other place and opening fire, or taking his precious life, most often due to feelings of not belonging, I cringe and reflect. We need to support those people, BEFORE they do harm to themselves or other people in our community.
Conclusion
As seems appropriate when providing a sermon in a church, I'd like to close now by sharing one of my favourite passages from the Bible. This one is from 1 Corinthians 10:13:
As such, I invite you to join the “Virtues in Action” team that I am leading. Please consider joining us to “Walk the Walk for Autism” this year on the morning of Saturday, June 16th. Details are printed in your church bulletin. I will also stay a while after church today with a simple sign-up sheet, and also to answer any questions you may have about getting involved. I will also happily accept any donations you wish to make in lieu of attending the walk - whatever amount you are able to give.
This event is always a good time, with a silent auction, bouncy houses, and more! Last year, the event raised $75,000 for Autism Pictou County, and there is hope that at least the same can be achieved again this year, but to do that we need support from people like you. These funds are needed to continue the important programs and social activities that I can tell you make a very real and positive difference in the lives of people with autism.
Coming back to the picture I shared earlier… God works in mysterious ways, I think. Somehow, He knew I would want a picture like that. The picture was taken later in the same year our son Connor received his diagnosis of mental disorder. Now years later, I decided this year to use that image as the cover photo for a Facebook page I started to advocate for positive changes for people with mental disorders. I feel very strongly that we should all be respected and supported as the “original” people we are, here according to God’s design. We can lead change to help those of us who are “sad”, as I was. If you share my passionate interest in this, please check out what I’ve written online, and consider giving me a 'Like' so I know! Being social is important folks, especially to those of us with mental disorders!
Thank you very much for your time and attention here today as I shared what I am passionate about!
About the Speaker – as published in the Church Bulletin
On April 8th, Christine MacKenzie will participate in our church service to share reasons why she thinks we should all “Walk the Walk for Autism” on Saturday, June 16th. Born in Chatham, Ontario, her family moved to Pictou when she was in elementary school and she was raised as a Christian in Pictou. She earned a degree in Computer Science from Acadia University and then moved away to Ottawa to work as part of a globally distributed team of system engineers who have been through many corporate transitions together, starting in Bell Northern Research, then Nortel, then Computer Sciences Corporation. A few years after starting her own family, she moved back to Pictou County, where she continues to work as part of the same team, from her home as an I.T. Advisor for DXC Technology. Now also a wife and mother of three children and a very active community volunteer in Pictou County as well, she experiences challenges with mental disorders daily. After sharing her story, Christine will invite you to “Walk the Walk for Autism” by joining her “Virtues in Action” team or making a donation to Autism Pictou County. You may also wish to check out and “Comment” regarding posts in her page in Facebook and personal blog as she continues with her passionate interest in helping people experiencing mental disorders.
http://walkthewalkforautism.ca/team/378 – click “JOIN OUR TEAM” or “SPONSOR US
https://www.facebook.com/Christine.Marie.MacKenzie/
http://isitaspergerssyn.blogspot.ca
To start, I'd like to share a favourite picture of my daughter, Morgan, taken a few years ago when she was 9 years old. Note the picture was taken in October 2013, when our son Connor was 11 years old and our son Tom was 13 years old. I think it will make you smile and I feel it illustrates what I’m truly passionate about now.
As the event organizers would tell you:
“Walk the Walk for Autism is the largest autism awareness event in Nova Scotia. This event is held so that you can support your autism community and help enhance programs and services for families and people living with autism.”
Please know that all members of my family are very aware of the personal details that I'm going to share about them. They understand my reasons for sharing and have indicated they are comfortable with me doing so. Please also know that I’m excited about the possibilities of what we might also do together after you hear our story.
Reason #1 - Be a Good Christian
I was born to very young parents and I had a stay-at-home mother and hard-working father during my childhood. I was named with my parents' faith in mind - as a Christian - a follower of Christ. My name is Christine.
As my mother was raised Catholic, I was baptized, had my first communion, and confirmed myself as a Christian while member of the Stella Maris Parish Catholic Church. I also sometimes attended the Pictou United Church as a child, when my father's parents visited.
I am part of a very large and loving family. My parents have been happily
married now for nearly 46 years. I married my best friend, Kevin, who I have
been with since I was 15 and have been married to for over 20 years, and we
have 3 wonderful children. I am truly blessed with love in my life.
As a young girl, I enjoyed going to Girl Guides, Catechism and Church Choir. I spent a great deal of time outside, I loved to swim, and we did a lot of camping as a family as well. There are moments from those experiences that I suppose shaped who I am now.
In Girl Guides, we recited a promise... This included words like I promise to do my best and To help other people at all times.
In Catechism, I especially loved learning about the Beatitudes, which I confess I had to "Google" to remind myself about the details of when preparing this story now many years later. Referenced from biblestudy.org, some take "beatitude" to mean "beautiful attitudes", while others say "beatitude" comes from the Latin meaning "happy" or "blessed." It is said that Jesus pronounced, in his first sermon, many blessings to those who obey God and maintain a loving attitude pleasing to him. He stated, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." Based on those teachings, I grew up dearly wanting to live a righteous life. I enjoyed volunteering even in those early years, as I still very actively do today.
Reason #1 to walk then... I want to live according to the moral code I was taught as a child, to be a good Christian, to help other people.
Reason #2 – Provide Mentors
As part of Church Choir, I was generally a very quiet kid, except when I became like a “little professor” at times, talking about song lyrics. I loved to sing, especially solo in church or to my family. Many, many hours were spent by choice alone in my room, writing out and memorizing lyrics to songs and then trying to teach them to other people… songs like:
- "The
Unicorn Song" by the Irish Rovers
- "I
Have a Dream" by Abba and
- "Out
on the Mira"
I am grateful for the activities I was able to participate in as a child. Leaders of those were my early mentors. They allowed me to feel like I belonged in our community, despite my “original” behaviours.
As it often is for teenagers, Grade 10 was a pivotal year for me. I learned
speed typing and became more interested in computers. I also found a Sociology
course especially interesting, as that was the year I learned that not everyone
is blessed with a positive childhood like I had. I found myself debating
between whether I wanted to be in I.T. or become a Child Psychologist. I chose
the I.T. path, mostly because I was afraid I would not be able to handle
listening to stories of people hurting all the time. That was also the year I
met my future husband Kevin, and we shared a dear friend named Cecil.
As I went out into the world as a young adult, I myself experienced some of the terrible situations I had learned about in that Sociology class. I found myself sometimes crying for what seemed to me to be no apparent reason, which I have come to learn can be a symptom of mental disorder. One evening, I sat watching a docudrama on TV with my friend Cecil that was called "The Boys of St. Vincent", where I learned some of the terrible things that some of the priests in the Catholic Church did, and how the Catholic Church looked upon people who are homosexual. I also experienced a terrible situation related to addiction that I guess was quite traumatic for me, as I still struggle at times to process what happened. In May 1994, my world really crashed. Some of you may even remember this, as I found myself attending Lyon’s Brook United and I reflect now that possibly some of you were there. I really don't remember it well - it was so awful. Our friend Cecil was killed by a drunk driver. Following that, I am sad to reflect that I lost my faith for a while. What I experienced were my first strong feelings of mental disorder, which I continue to struggle with at times now.
I reflect that I have been very fortunate though. In April 1995, about a year after Cecil's accident, I was hired to work for Bell Northern Research. I made my way to Ottawa, a quiet, young girl, and walked into Carling - a HUGE building with many cubicles and many hallways, and a high glass ceiling at the center. It was beyond overwhelming. For the better part of a decade, I quite quietly went to work each day, did the work I was asked to do, and built my career with a group of people who were generally great to me while mystified by how quiet I was.
At this time early in my career and when I was feeling most vulnerable, I was assigned mentors who helped me through. In fact, these mentors helped me so much that I have ended up taking on many leadership roles in a variety of non-profit organizations, where I have had the pleasure of getting to know many of you in this room today and hope to get to know many more of you. Later this month, I will also become an official member of Lyon’s Brook United Church, reaffirming my faith as a Christian.
One such organization that I am now involved with is Autism Pictou County. Now, I don’t know about you, but when I choose to volunteer, I tend to choose to do so only if I can make a personal connection with the cause, as there are hundreds of thousands of charities out there and I recognize I cannot be part of all of them. Through this organization, I have received tremendous personal support.
Reason #2 to walk then... I like the idea that by walking I might help ensure mentors are available, to be a positive influence as my mentors were for me. I want all people to be as fortunate as I have been.
Reason #3 – Help Improve Education and Health Systems
Now a mother of three teenagers, I reflect on the challenges my early adult years brought. I have watched my children going through their own challenging experiences, causing me great moments of reflection and worry, but also moments when I am thankful to have gone through what I have, giving perspective I suppose. Through these experiences, I have identified another very big reason to walk. This reason is one I have grown to be particularly passionate about.
In 2000, after 13 years together, Kevin and I decided to have our first son, Tommy. We learned that it's very true what people say... There really is no manual provided to help you raise children. Tommy was a very restless baby. Nursing was very challenging, though something I did eventually manage to figure out how to do. We would put Tommy in a bouncy chair and take turns using our hands or feet to bounce him to sleep, at times it seemed 24x7, for about the entire first year. Eventually, Tommy settled down, at least enough to sleep properly at night. Gradually, Tommy, or Tom as he now prefers to be called, settled down a lot.
Two years after Tom was born, in 2002, Kevin and I decided to have another baby, and we were blessed with our second son, Connor. We were initially relieved that Connor was a very easy-going baby. As a toddler, we observed Connor turning in circles to music and doing knee bends, trying to imitate his big brother Tommy. This was a very sweet time for us.
However, when Connor turned about 1 year and 4 months old, things really changed with him. That was when we made the decision that we were too overwhelmed to raise our kids without family support, and so we decided to move from Ottawa back home to Pictou. Connor had a very tough time getting to sleep and was screaming a lot as well. Connor was nearly 4 years old before I think we felt much control again as parents. Luckily, we had lots of support from family.
That was when, in 2004, we decided to have our third child, our daughter Morgan. Morgan proved to be a pretty easy to handle baby in comparison to our boys. Morgan has her own challenges though, as we all seem to in this world. After eating practically everything we’d put in front of her, at about age 2 and much like Connor, Morgan suddenly changed. She became a child who does not eat any meat other than bacon, gets her protein generally from BBQ seasoned peanuts or peanut butter, and does not eat any vegetables other than French fries, despite fact that at one point she would eat things like chili or stew.
In 2006, Connor started preschool. I feel gratitude that my sister introduced us to a very wonderful person who ran what she called a Virtues Preschool at her home, where our children had the pleasure of attending. That is where we first learned about the Virtues Project, which is something I've really come to love. The project describes virtues as the many gifts of character that are inherent in all of us, such as grace, kindness, understanding, and of course patience, and teaches people strategies that, as The Virtues Project™ web site states:
"bring virtues to life in every relationship. They help us to live authentic, purposeful lives, to raise children of compassion and idealism, and to create a culture of character in our schools and communities."
When Connor was 5 years old, we started the process to try to get professional help. We were observing periods of "rage" that were very frightening. That was also when I grew to have very strong feelings that there is something very broken in our education and health systems.
In 2007, I learned that a child in school cannot get the extra support of an Educational Assistant, as it was very apparent Connor needed, unless the child's parent arranges for a professional diagnosis to label what the child is experiencing. If the child is not professionally labeled with a condition where it can be clearly documented that support is needed, the child can be placed in a classroom with just one adult teacher who has insufficient support and often no training to manage the child, while also teaching the other children in the room. Worse, the procedures to get a diagnosis are very long and painful. You are forced to go on long waiting lists, dig through all your past, answer many, many questionnaires, ask the child's teachers to also answer questionnaires, speak to many, many professionals, talk about all sorts of detail, to be scrutinized on a very personal level, leading at least for me to feelings of very low self-esteem. I learned it is very hard to hear that your child has a mental disorder, perhaps genetically caused, but even more difficult when you and even your child's teachers know your child is struggling and mental health professionals repeatedly tell you there is no disorder that they can observe and therefore no label they can provide to ensure your child gets support.
From 2007 to end of 2010, we consulted over 20 different professionals in the public health system to try to get a diagnosis for Connor, all to no avail and documented in great detail! I became more and more frustrated as I especially watched our son experience bouts of crying, rage and running away. We built a fence in our backyard to try to keep him safe from the highway and the water nearby.
In December 2010, when Connor was in Grade 3, we had a very serious meeting with our son's elementary school, which also operated as a Virtues School, which is something we are also very grateful for. School staff were incredibly supportive, despite the limited resources they had available. It was very clear they loved our son, as we do, but they were also very concerned.
Luckily, in about January 2011, I stumbled on a book called "The Explosive Child" that seemed to describe our son very well. Also, I was somehow directed to a CBC article called "The Boy Inside" - describing Asperger's Syndrome. I began to read lots of material about this condition - and this got me REALLY excited!
That is when I started a personal blog, which I call "Is It Asperger's?", and which I still spend time writing in now, 7 years later. In that month alone, I wrote 36 blog posts as I processed what we were going through in our family, and the community support I received in that time led me to have courage, I will forever remember with love.
It was not too long after that when I learned about the Pictou County Children with Autism Support Group, which has since renamed itself to Autism Pictou County. As I said before, this group provided me with mentors – people who helped me understand that I was not alone and who continue to help me now to find ways to deal with the many challenges that families dealing with Autistic Spectrum Disorders like Asperger’s Syndrome face. It was here that I learned that, if one child in the family is diagnosed with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, often it is the case that others in the family experience mental disorders on the autism spectrum as well. Furthermore, people working in the field of I.T. are often diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorders as well.
To this day, now at the age of 13, our daughter Morgan continues to struggle with eating. She really has not developed better eating habits since the age of 2. We believe now that she may be struggling with something referred to as Sensory Processing Disorder, and so are working on getting her better support with that in mind. Morgan is also a very happy teenager who currently loves drama and is taking singing lessons.
Last year, at age 16, our son Tom started to recognize that he was having major challenges with focus in school. He began to struggle academically compared to his earlier years, and he developed severe acid reflux. To try to manage this, Tom decided to seek professional support, and this resulted in him being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Knowing this has helped Tom to learn ways to address his feelings of disorder. Now, at age 17, Tom is a healthy teenager who loves basketball, music and rugby.
Now in Grade 10 and 15 years old, which I mentioned earlier was a pivotal year for me, I am pleased to report that Connor is doing quite well, too! Connor wants you to know that he thinks having Asperger's Syndrome is great - it's the reason he is so great at Math!
Our family is in a much better place now than when we first became involved with Autism Pictou County back in 2013. The programs and social activities offered by this group, such as art, swimming and music therapy, the monthly parent meetings, and more, give us opportunities to socialize with people who relate to what we experience and often lead us to solutions, despite fact the education and mental health systems are so very difficult to navigate to get support. We are also working together to try to change those systems.
Reason #3 to walk then... The reason I am most passionate about... I invite you to please take a moment to reflect on my family's story. Consider how much love and support we have, but also all the intense work we've done to ensure we had "labels" for the disorders that we have experienced and to ensure support. Put yourself in place of a young family who perhaps is experiencing the same feelings of disorder that we face, but without that intense support system.
I reflect that there are so MANY stories of people experiencing mental disorders who do NOT receive the support they dearly need in life. Those people then "explode", sort of like the explosive child I had read about, and do terrible things. Every time I hear another story about someone going into a church or other place and opening fire, or taking his precious life, most often due to feelings of not belonging, I cringe and reflect. We need to support those people, BEFORE they do harm to themselves or other people in our community.
Conclusion
As seems appropriate when providing a sermon in a church, I'd like to close now by sharing one of my favourite passages from the Bible. This one is from 1 Corinthians 10:13:
"God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way through, so that you may be able to bear it."
As such, I invite you to join the “Virtues in Action” team that I am leading. Please consider joining us to “Walk the Walk for Autism” this year on the morning of Saturday, June 16th. Details are printed in your church bulletin. I will also stay a while after church today with a simple sign-up sheet, and also to answer any questions you may have about getting involved. I will also happily accept any donations you wish to make in lieu of attending the walk - whatever amount you are able to give.
This event is always a good time, with a silent auction, bouncy houses, and more! Last year, the event raised $75,000 for Autism Pictou County, and there is hope that at least the same can be achieved again this year, but to do that we need support from people like you. These funds are needed to continue the important programs and social activities that I can tell you make a very real and positive difference in the lives of people with autism.
Coming back to the picture I shared earlier… God works in mysterious ways, I think. Somehow, He knew I would want a picture like that. The picture was taken later in the same year our son Connor received his diagnosis of mental disorder. Now years later, I decided this year to use that image as the cover photo for a Facebook page I started to advocate for positive changes for people with mental disorders. I feel very strongly that we should all be respected and supported as the “original” people we are, here according to God’s design. We can lead change to help those of us who are “sad”, as I was. If you share my passionate interest in this, please check out what I’ve written online, and consider giving me a 'Like' so I know! Being social is important folks, especially to those of us with mental disorders!
Thank you very much for your time and attention here today as I shared what I am passionate about!
About the Speaker – as published in the Church Bulletin
On April 8th, Christine MacKenzie will participate in our church service to share reasons why she thinks we should all “Walk the Walk for Autism” on Saturday, June 16th. Born in Chatham, Ontario, her family moved to Pictou when she was in elementary school and she was raised as a Christian in Pictou. She earned a degree in Computer Science from Acadia University and then moved away to Ottawa to work as part of a globally distributed team of system engineers who have been through many corporate transitions together, starting in Bell Northern Research, then Nortel, then Computer Sciences Corporation. A few years after starting her own family, she moved back to Pictou County, where she continues to work as part of the same team, from her home as an I.T. Advisor for DXC Technology. Now also a wife and mother of three children and a very active community volunteer in Pictou County as well, she experiences challenges with mental disorders daily. After sharing her story, Christine will invite you to “Walk the Walk for Autism” by joining her “Virtues in Action” team or making a donation to Autism Pictou County. You may also wish to check out and “Comment” regarding posts in her page in Facebook and personal blog as she continues with her passionate interest in helping people experiencing mental disorders.
http://walkthewalkforautism.ca/team/378 – click “JOIN OUR TEAM” or “SPONSOR US
https://www.facebook.com/Christine.Marie.MacKenzie/
http://isitaspergerssyn.blogspot.ca
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