She's a Maniac

I woke at 3 am today.  Now it's 6 am and (sigh) I have not slept since and the song in my head is "Maniac" by Michael Sembello: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVnqHciXB7Y

We all must laugh at ourselves sometimes, though this is not a laughing matter for some experiencing this!

The team I lead is rather aware, as they've received some work-related responses to their email in the last few hours, and they have replied to me with some expression of concern to say "Hey, you should be sleeping!"  You see, they have seen this before.  It's a sign I'm in a "manic" state (though they may not have that label in their mind).  It's a sign I am thankful I am able to be aware I'm in and able to take a step back from.  I recognize in this moment that I need to pause my work and make myself relax.. and writing this helps with that.

Being in a manic state is something that can be part of having a mental disorder.  In my case, as mentioned before, some have labelled my condition as part of some form of Autistic Spectrum Disorder (maybe Asperger's Syndrome).  This state for me seems to be triggered when I have been working on a problem and suddenly I recognize a solution, but that solution will take time to implement and my mind is "full" of ideas to implement the solution.  I get in a state where I have paper at my bedside and I suddenly find myself jotting notes, and I cannot sleep until the thoughts are written down.  This means that in some ways it's a "good" state, but on the flip side you would also recognize I've stopped sleeping and so it's "bad".  To try to get out of the state, I try to distract myself by doing other things, like responding to unrelated email at work.

I take comfort in knowing there are many famous people in this world who have experienced episodes.  Google "famous people with manic episodes" to see what I mean...  I've lost the reference now, but I recall reading once that Einstein kept paper at his bedside for this reason.  My "ideas" are nowhere near as bright as his, but they will help solve some issues at work.  Maybe you've seen the episode of "Big Bang Theory" where Sheldon stands at a white board for days, writing ideas and trying to solve a problem?  Much like that...

Some people manage this state of mind through use of medication.  I've considered this, but in my case I find the "episodes" are harmless and generally short-lived, as long as I or someone else notices me in the state.  Some people "self-medicate" (drink, smoke pot, or take illegal drugs) to deal with all this - a path I'm grateful I did not choose as I watch other people deal with that choice.

Time for some rest for me it would seem.  Grateful I am already coming out of this state and already scheduled some leave starting at end of this work day for a week!

Happy Canada Day and July 4th in the U.S. to those who will celebrate this week!

This is the Day

Wanted to take a few minutes to "check in" with my readers!

Ever notice how things seem to get worse before better?!

It's been VERY busy lately, and at points in recent weeks I really wondered if they would ever turn around, but at least they did!

A few weeks ago, spent a week of vacation sorting through virtually every toy we ever purchased or received as gifts for our kids, who are all teenagers now and have little need for any of it.  The organization of our house was quite literally destroyed, as I scattered things to sort on our dining room table, kitchen floor and office floor...  I have some advice for parents!  Do NOT purchase beads or hair elastics!  You will find them in EVERY bin or box or other organization container you keep in your home.  So glad to be through that sorting, and managed to sell about 2/3 of the stuff and make a little cash, and there is a bit more space in our home now as well, though more to be done "someday" soon!

After that, coming back to work was usual..  317 email messages in what was a 0 inbox when I'd left the week before.  Gah.  Managed to catch that up now, just as I intend to go on vacation about a week from now again for a week.  That cycle will be rather vicious all summer I think, as I have booked quite a few weeks here and there to try to get my brain some seemingly much needed rest.

Next, there was a day trip to the children's hospital with our daughter, to consult about latest advice regarding best practices to encourage teenagers to eat healthy food.  A few weeks ago, after consulting a dietician because our daughter still refuses to eat meat (except bacon) and veggies (except fries) and she has low iron and thyroid issues now, I was led to start reading a book which is quite intriguing, recommending practically the opposite of all advice we've received in the past...  "Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family", by Ellyn Satter.  At the hospital, the doctor encouraged us to continue on that path, getting "back to basics" with eating (cutting out all the processed crap we seem to eat) while trying to get at least a tiny morsel of meat or veggies into her with every meal.  I'm about half through reading that book and hope to get through it soon.  Let's just say I'm still reading and struggling with all this, but getting ideas and working on increasing how often we eat together as a family.  My daughter is at least going to school more now, and I have just 2 more lunch packing days for school this year, so there is that bit of good news!

Of course, other "life" events were in the mix recently.  Our boys wrote exams this week and are waiting to hear their results.  People keep lamenting about how much death and illness seems to be around anymore as well :(  Glad to hear today that another family victim of stroke is heading home at least!

This week has been heavily focused on making plans at work to adjust our approach.  It's been quite stressful and frustrating at times...  On Wednesday night, I decided to aim for some distraction by going to bridge and then watching "Babies" on Netflix.  This is quite cute and it's very interesting to see in this documentary how very differently women around the world handle their babies...  Thought especially cute to see one baby sitting in the dirt, getting completely filthy, and then reaching out to another to make his lips vibrate...  This baby was SO happy.  Another simple reminder that maybe we all could benefit from getting back to basics!

After that, woke up yesterday with a song in my mind... "This is the Day"  LOL - church music on a Thursday!  Indeed, we all need to try to "be glad" and "rejoice" in what we have though!  Still, thought it a funny song to be thinking about, given how intense our discussions at work have been this week.  I pushed on through the day yesterday, though very tired and quite grateful for the progress we made.

That brought me to today, when I woke up with another song.  This one truly made me laugh out loud about how crazy things seem to be at times.  I think God has a sense of humour, because this day I woke with a different song on my mind...  the "Pinky and the Brain" theme song! 

Pretty sure I'm Pinky (insane), and the folks around me are more like Brain (trying to take over the world at work)!  We sure have a lot to do!

Grateful for fantastic colleagues and friends to help me through when things get challenging as they have been lately!

Continued discussions today, and we are getting through some of our challenges, plus the sun is shining, so life is good!

Time to do the typical 5 loads of laundry for the week, which can be strangely relaxing!  May also continue watching "Father Brown", which is a pretty good mystery series if you are into that.

Enjoy your weekend!