On Sunday, January 21st, our Faith in Action team had a meeting. For those who perhaps are unfamiliar with us, we are an open group of members of the Lyon's Brook, Salt Springs and Scotsburn United Church pastoral charges who get together with shared interest in doing just what our group title suggests... to put our faith into action.
An outcome from this meeting was a request that my daughter Morgan and I speak in church, regarding why we are choosing to participate in the "Coldest Night of the Year" walk together again this year, and of course to try to encourage other people in our church community to also get involved.
I will share, that is a question that surprisingly led me to do a great deal of reflection in the past 3 weeks. It's been a rather emotional time for me. Writing an approximately 20 minute long "sermon" is a BIG job and I now have great respect for what ministers go through EVERY week as just a small part of their total job description.
As I wrote, I found myself processing a great deal of grief, as recently two fathers of dear friends have passed away, and another friend had a stroke - thankful she is recovering. I am grateful for this experience, but also I suppose relieved to be at the end of my "overthinking" and even "oversharing" with our minister at times... ready to go back to being a human "being" and not a human "doing" - to regain a "pace of grace".
A video came up in my Facebook feed this week that I think explains quite well what my process has been like. I even shared it in a separate post, so some of you may have seen it. It shows a pony at a barn door, struggling to leave the barn. The pony approaches the door over and over, repeatedly, until finally leaps out the door and kicks up its heels: https://www.facebook.com/JungleVT/videos/2284053335069829/
I sort of feel like that now, like I'm ready to "kick up my heels" and move forward.
Music in the Service
Music in the Service
"One more step along the world I go" was a song we sang earlier in the service, before Morgan and I spoke. Seems I have another favourite. Found a video in YouTube so you can hear it, too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PXV3dwaeNU
Later, we also sang "Walk with Me", which is already a favourite of mine.
[I also love this other song of same name (song starts at 3:30):
We closed with the song "We Are Pilgrims on a Journey"... Found this video in YouTube again:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPWXOoxA-JU
Wow. My heart is happy and full of love. Hope you feel God's grace today, too!
Anyway, below is the talk I delivered in our church...
Morgan spoke:
Hi. This is my 2nd year as the captain of this team, and I'm excited to do this again. It’s always a lot of fun!
I'll tell you what happens so, if you haven't done it before, you will have an idea about what to expect and figure out if you want to join us.
Of course, along with the fun, there is some business, so I'll tell you about that first.
It is important to understand that this is a fundraiser for our community, for Pictou County Roots for Youth. They are a group that is committed to ending youth homelessness in our community. They serve youth aged 16-24 and operate a 4-bed shelter that provides temporary accommodation. They are committed to helping youth end their homelessness permanently, and work through a 4-step process with each young person to that end.
This past September, in 2017, they opened 2 transition houses so youth leaving Roots can have access to safe and affordable housing while rebuilding their lives and continuing to make use of the supports available through staff and programs.
They also open the house daily so that ANY young person can eat, get online, do laundry, grab a shower, and find a sympathetic listening ear.
To participate is really easy. Full details are in our church bulletin, so I'll not bore you with all the details here. We will be happy to explain to you further if you are interested. Your first step is to register as a team member, ideally by Monday, February 19th. Next, you will use pledge forms to raise money, as much or as little as you choose. Then you will hand in what you raise on walk day, at the Christian Fellowship Church at 4 pm on Saturday, February 24th, and that is when the fun begins!
Once you are signed in, you will be directed into the church.
In the back corner of the church, they have props. We have our own props, too! We have fun dressing up, and some of us even put tattoos on our faces. We pose for some pictures. The positive energy in the room is great, and that inevitably has us all smiling.
There is normally a countdown clock on a big screen, and Opening Ceremonies are at 5 pm. We all dress warmly, as the walk starts at 5:15 pm. The route will be well marked out and the turnaround point will be the New Glasgow Farmer's Market where washrooms and warm drinks - HOT CHOCOLATE! - will be available for everyone.
You can walk as much or as little as you choose! The event will close with a warm, light meal served to all walkers and volunteers between 6 and 8 pm. This usually includes CAKE!
Now, please know as well, if you are not able or interested in walking, you can still be a part of this important fundraiser. Team members will be looking for donations as well, as our team goal is to raise $2,000! A tax receipt will be issued for each donation of $20 or more (if email or mailing address is provided with each donation). Any team member will be quite happy to collect your donation! There are pledge forms at the back of the church, and we will be happy to explain in better detail if you wish to come see us after church today or next week.
We are very pleased to have you with us no matter which path you choose!
I spoke:
Introduction
To start, I'd like to share a favourite picture of our daughter, Morgan, taken a few years ago when she was 7 years old. Please have a close look and pass it around. Note the picture was taken in October 2013, when our son Connor was 11 years old and our son Tom was 13 years old. I think it will make you smile and I feel it illustrates the key reason I participate in the walk, which my story is meant to explain.
Let’s start with the obvious... As the event organizers would tell you:
“The Coldest Night of the Year is a super-fun, family-friendly fundraiser for hungry, homeless, and hurting individuals and families across Canada.”Now, I don’t know about you, but when I choose to support a cause, I tend to choose to do so only if I can make a personal connection with the cause, as there are hundreds of thousands of charities out there. I’m not someone who is hungry or homeless, and really I don’t feel I know anyone personally who is, so those reasons do not inspire me. On the other hand, I rather do feel compelled to help people who are “hurting” in our community.
I immediately felt called to tell my story when the idea was raised at our Faith in Action meeting, but it was much harder than I anticipated to put into words just what I somehow felt I very passionately wanted to share here. Jim can tell you, I have given this quite a lot of thought. He has been very supportive through my journey and so I wish to say that I'm sincerely grateful for the opportunity and his support as well.
I feel I have very passionate reasons to participate in the walk. I’m going to share some of my personal story to cover 3 reasons. In doing this, I’m thinking perhaps you will also feel a personal connection, and then I hope you will choose to join our team.
Reason #1 - Be a Good Christian
I feel I have very passionate reasons to participate in the walk. I’m going to share some of my personal story to cover 3 reasons. In doing this, I’m thinking perhaps you will also feel a personal connection, and then I hope you will choose to join our team.
Reason #1 - Be a Good Christian
My name is Christine. I was born to very young parents and I had a stay-at-home mother and hard-working father during my childhood. I was named with my parents' faith in mind - as a Christian - a follower of Christ. As my mother was raised Catholic, I was baptized, had my first communion, and confirmed myself as a Christian while member of the Stella Maris Parish Catholic Church. I also sometimes attended the Pictou United Church as a child, when my father's parents visited. I am part of a very large and loving family. My parents have been happily married now for nearly 46 years. I married my best friend, Kevin, who I have been with since I was 15 and have been married to for over 20 years, and we have 3 wonderful children. I am truly blessed with love in my life.
As a young girl, I loved going to Girl Guides, Catechism and Church Choir. I spent a great deal of time outside, and we did a lot of camping as a family as well. There are moments from those experiences that I suppose shaped who I am now.
In Girl Guides, we recited a promise... This included words like I promise to do my best and To help other people at all times.
In Catechism, I especially loved learning about the Beatitudes, which I confess I had to "Google" to remind myself about the details of when preparing this story. Referenced from biblestudy.org, some take "beatitude" to mean "beautiful attitudes", while others say "beatitude" comes from the Latin meaning "happy" or "blessed." It is said that Jesus pronounced, in his first sermon, many blessings to those who obey God and maintain a loving attitude pleasing to him. He stated, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." Based on those teachings, I grew up dearly wanting to live a righteous life. I enjoyed volunteering even in those early years, as many if not all of you know I do today. I even participated in the first Terry Fox Run, where I was the youth in Pictou that raised the most money to fight cancer. I enjoyed studying the Bible, and I was like a little professor at times, talking about song lyrics. You can perhaps imagine, I wasn't a very popular kid.
As part of Church Choir, I was a very quiet kid - not really a talker - but I loved to sing, especially solo in church or to my family. Many, many hours were spent by choice alone in my room, writing out and memorizing lyrics to songs like:
- "The Unicorn Song" by the Irish Rovers
- "I Have a Dream" by Abba and
- "Out on the Mira"
Reason #1 to walk then... I want to live according to the moral code I was taught as a child, to be a good Christian, to help other people.
Reason #2 - Provide Mentors for Youth
As it often is for teenagers, Grade 10 was a pivotal year for me. I learned speed typing and became more interested in computers. I also found a Sociology course especially interesting, as that was the year I learned that not everyone is blessed with a positive childhood like I had. I found myself debating between whether I wanted to be in I.T. or become a Child Psychologist. I chose the I.T. path, mostly because I was afraid I would not be able to handle listening to stories of people hurting all the time. That was also the year I met my future husband Kevin, and a dear friend named Cecil.
As I went out into the world as a young adult, I myself experienced some of the terrible situations I had learned about in that Sociology class. I found myself sometimes crying for what seemed to me to be no apparent reason, which I have come to learn is a symptom of mental illness. One evening, I sat watching a movie with my friend Cecil that I think was called "In the Name of the Father", where I learned some of the terrible things that some of the priests in the Catholic Church did, and how the Catholic Church looked upon people who are homosexual. I also experienced a terrible situation related to addiction that I guess was quite traumatic for me, as I still struggle at times to process what happened. In May 1994, my world really crashed. Some of you may even remember this, as I found myself attending Lyon’s Brook United and I reflect now that quite likely some of you were there. I really don't remember it well - it was so awful. Our friend Cecil was killed by a drunk driver. Following that, I am sad to reflect that I lost my faith for a while. What I experienced were my first strong feelings of mental disorder, which I continue to struggle with at times now.
I reflect that I have been very fortunate though. In April 1995, about a year after Cecil's accident, I was hired to work for Bell Northern Research. I made my way to Ottawa, a quiet, young girl, and walked into Carling - a HUGE building with many cubicles and many hallways, and a high glass ceiling at the center. It was beyond overwhelming. For the better part of a decade, I quite quietly went to work each day, did the work I was asked to do, and built my career with a group of people who were generally great to me while mystified by how quiet I was. At this time early in my career and when I was feeling most vulnerable, I was assigned mentors who helped me through. Eventually, I also started volunteering, where I met still many more wonderful mentors. I am ever grateful for these people who helped me while most had little clue what was really going on inside my head. I learned a great deal about people in those years, and about how we are all very different in our own ways, bringing our own strengths and virtues into this world, and all facing our own issues.
Now a mother of three teenagers, I reflect on the challenges my early adult years brought. I have watched my children going through their own challenging experiences, causing me great moments of reflection and worry, but also moments when I am thankful to have gone through what I have, giving perspective I suppose.
It’s important to understand that, here in Pictou County, the Coldest Night event is being hosted by Pictou County Roots for Youth Society. Some of the text this group published to describe their services says:
"Each youth who leaves Roots House is paired with a volunteer who commits to a weekly phone call and monthly visit. We continue to follow up with young people once they leave Roots House, to keep the relationship live and continue to be a support and positive influence on them. Moreover, each young person knows that this volunteer is their first point of contact and they can reach out whenever a need arises."Reason #2 to walk then... I like the idea that by walking I might help youth experiencing terrible situations, by ensuring a mentor is assigned to support the youth, to be a positive influence as my mentors were for me. I reflect that some people are not as fortunate as I have been.
Reason #3 - Support Youth Experiencing Mental Disorders
As I have been raising my kids through the school years, I have identified another very big reason to walk. This reason is one I have grown to be particularly passionate about. Please know that the details I'm about to share are something all members of my family are very aware that I'm going to talk about. They understand my reasons for sharing and have indicated they are comfortable with me doing so.
In 2000, after 13 years together, Kevin and I decided to have our first son, Tommy. We learned that it's very true what people say... There really is no manual provided to help you raise children. Tommy was a very restless baby. Nursing was very challenging, though something I did eventually manage to figure out how to do. We would put Tommy in a bouncy chair and take turns using our hands or feet to bounce him to sleep, at times it seemed 24x7, for about the entire first year. Eventually, Tommy settled down, at least enough to sleep properly at night. Gradually, Tommy, or Tom as he now prefers to be called, settled down a lot. Now, at age 17, Tom is a healthy teenager who loves basketball and music. Due to severe acid reflux though, last year at age 16, Tom decided to seek professional support, and this resulted in him being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Knowing this has helped Tom to learn ways to address his feelings of disorder.
Two years after Tom was born, in 2002, Kevin and I decided to have another baby, and we were blessed with our second son, Connor. We were initially relieved that Connor was very easy-going as a baby. As a toddler, we observed Connor turning in circles to music and doing knee bends, trying to imitate his big brother Tommy. This was a very sweet time for us. However, when Connor turned about 1 year and 4 months old, things really changed with him. That was when we made the decision that we were too overwhelmed to raise our kids without family support, and so we decided to move from Ottawa back home to Pictou. Connor was very tough to get to sleep and was screaming a lot as well. Connor was nearly 4 years old before I think we felt much control again as parents. Luckily, we had lots of support from family.
That was when, in 2004, we decided to have our third child, our daughter Morgan. Morgan proved to be a pretty easy to handle baby in comparison to our boys. Morgan has her own challenges though, as we all seem to in this world. We think probably her challenges are best described as sensory processing disorder. Morgan has a very difficult time with eating. Now age 13, she does not yet eat any meat other than bacon, BBQ seasoned peanuts, or peanut butter, nor any vegetables other than french fries. However, Morgan is a very happy teenager who currently loves drama and is taking singing lessons.
Now, you might have noticed I did not really tell you about more than the first few years of Connor's life. Connor's story is a little more complicated to tell, but I feel worth telling because it illustrates a very important reason to participate in the walk.
In 2006, Connor started preschool. I feel gratitude that my sister introduced us to a very wonderful person. Many of you in this church likely know Ms. Kathie, who ran what she called a Virtues Preschool at her home, where our children had the pleasure of attending. That is where we first learned about the Virtues Project, which is something I've really come to love. The project describes virtues as the many gifts of character that are inherent in all of us, such as grace, kindness, understanding, and of course patience, and teaches people strategies that, as The Virtues Project™ web site states:
"bring virtues to life in every relationship. They help us to live authentic, purposeful lives, to raise children of compassion and idealism, and to create a culture of character in our schools and communities."In his years in preschool, Connor proved to be quite a handful. We recall one particular day where Connor suddenly decided to run off in a full sprint into the rather huge field nearby. That was the time when we started to discern there was more than just a little hyperactivity going on with Connor.
When he was 5 years old, we started the process to try to get some help for Connor. We were observing periods of "rage" that were very frightening. That was also when I grew to have very strong feelings that there is something very broken in our systems in society.
In 2007, I learned that a child in school cannot get the extra support of an Educational Assistant, as it was very apparent Connor needed, unless the child's guardians arrange for a professional diagnosis to label what the child is experiencing. If the child is not professionally labeled with a condition where it can be clearly documented that support is needed, the child can be placed in a classroom with just one adult teacher who has insufficient support and often no training to manage the child, while also teaching the other children in the room. Worse, the procedures to get a diagnosis are very long and painful. You are forced to go on long waiting lists, dig through all your past, answer many, many questionnaires, ask the child's teachers to also answer questionnaires, speak to many, many professionals, talk about all sorts of detail, to be scrutinized on a very personal level, leading at least for me to feelings of very low self-esteem. I learned it is very hard to hear that your child has a mental disorder, perhaps genetically caused, but even more difficult when you and even your child's teachers know your child is struggling and mental health professionals repeatedly tell you there is no disorder that they can observe and therefore no label they can provide to ensure your child gets support.
From 2007 to end of 2010, we consulted over 20 different professionals in the public health system to try to get a diagnosis for Connor, all to no avail and documented in great detail! I stumbled on a book called "The Explosive Child" that seemed to describe our son very well. I became more and more frustrated as I especially watched our son experience bouts of crying, rage and running away. We built a fence in our backyard to try to keep him safe from the highway.
In December 2010, when Connor was in Grade 3, we had a very serious meeting with our son's Elementary school, which also operated as a Virtues School, which is something we are also very grateful for. School staff were incredibly supportive, despite the limited resources they had available. It was very clear they loved our son, as we do, but they were also very concerned.
In January 2011, I was somehow directed to a CBC article called "The Boy Inside" - describing Asperger's Syndrome. I began to read lots of material about this condition - and this got me REALLY excited! That is when I started a blog, which I call "Is It Asperger's?", and which I still spend time writing in now, 7 years later. In that month alone, I wrote 36 blog posts as I processed what we were going through in our family, and the community support I received in that time led me to have courage, I will forever remember with love.
In February 2011, I finally gave up on our public health system and hired a private psychologist and also a psychiatrist. In April 2011, at 9 years of age, we finally had a diagnosis for Connor, which included high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome. At last, we started to get better support. Now in Grade 10, which I mentioned earlier was my pivotal year, I am pleased to report that Connor is doing quite well! Connor wants you to know that he thinks having Asperger's Syndrome traits is great - it's the reason he is so great at Math!
In October 2011, the picture I have shared was taken, and now I use it as the cover photo for my Facebook page. God works in mysterious ways, I think. Somehow, He knew I would want a picture like that someday to help share my story.
In the literature prepared by Pictou County Roots for Youth Society, they state:
"Up to 75 percent of homeless, women specifically, have a mental illness.* When providing care to the homeless, it is essential to create a non-threatening and supportive atmosphere, address basic needs (e.g. food and shelter), and provide accessible care. At Roots for Youth, this is our work. We help young people aged 16-24 end their homelessness and rebuild their lives. It takes the whole community working together to support mental health and end homelessness."
Reason #3 to walk then... The reason I am clearly most passionate about... I invite you to please take a moment to reflect on my family's story. Consider how much love and support we have, but also all the intense work we've done to ensure we had "labels" for the disorder that we have experienced and to ensure support. Put yourself in place of a young teenager who perhaps is experiencing the same feelings of disorder that we did, but without that intense support system, and worse, ends up homeless.
I reflect that there are so MANY stories of people experiencing mental disorders who do NOT receive the support they dearly need in life. Those people then "explode", sort of like the explosive child I had read about, and do terrible things. Every time I hear another story about someone going into a church or other place and opening fire, I cringe and reflect. Those are the sort of people that end up supported by Pictou County Roots for Youth Society. I want to support those who are "hurting" due to behaviours labeled as mental disorders, BEFORE they do harm.
I reflect that there are so MANY stories of people experiencing mental disorders who do NOT receive the support they dearly need in life. Those people then "explode", sort of like the explosive child I had read about, and do terrible things. Every time I hear another story about someone going into a church or other place and opening fire, I cringe and reflect. Those are the sort of people that end up supported by Pictou County Roots for Youth Society. I want to support those who are "hurting" due to behaviours labeled as mental disorders, BEFORE they do harm.
Conclusion
As seems appropriate when providing a sermon in a church, I'd like to close now by sharing one of my favourite passages from the Bible. This one is from 1 Corinthians 10:13:
"God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way through, so that you may be able to bear it."I truly believe this. I suppose the Coldest Night of the Year is one "way through" for the youth of our community. I have received many "ways through" in my journey, as I imagine many of you have as well. I feel that, just as Jesus did, I also want to love everyone to provide that "way through"!
It is often said that it takes a "village to raise a child", and I can tell you with 100% certainty that my family would not be in the positive place we are without the support we have received from our "village".
Our “Coldest Night Warmest Hearts” team is aiming to raise $2,000 of the $45,000 goal for this event in support of Pictou County Roots for Youth Society. Will you please consider joining us in the walk this year on the evening of Saturday, February 24th, to raise funds for Roots for Youth? Details are printed in our church bulletin. Bet some of you like hot chocolate or cake, too, right? Seeing people dressing up goofy makes you smile, too, right? This event is always a good time.
Morgan and I will stay awhile after church today with the simple sign-up sheets, and also to answer any questions you may have about getting involved. For as little as $25, you can walk with our team as part of this very important fundraiser to help some of the "hurting" youth in our community. If that is too much, you can also just make a donation - whatever amount you are able to give.
If you enjoyed my talk today, and would like to learn more about mental disorders, including my own, please check out my fan page entitled Christine MacKenzie in Facebook. If you like what you read, please give me a 'Like' so I know, too! Being social is important folks, especially to those of us with mental disorders :-)
Thank you very much for your time and attention here today as I shared what I am passionate about!
*** Ended talk in church here ***
At this point, we received a standing ovation, and many hugs, handshakes and thank you messages were received on the way out of the church. Great support :-)
Pledge forms are available at the back of the church, or online registration is available. You may also make a donation to the team via any walker, or by using the online form available at: https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/TeamFundraisingPage.aspx?teamID=789497&langPref=en-CA
If you enjoyed my talk today, please consider finding my fan page in Facebook as well, to follow me and give me a "Like": https://www.facebook.com/Christine.Marie.MacKenzie/.
Your comments are always appreciated, too.
Below here was prepared for the talk, but then kept separate to ensure it was kept to 20 minutes or less!
More about the Year of Connor's Diagnosis
During the summer of 2011, we did a road trip to Ottawa - me, my kids and a dear friend. She had a stroke in January, as I was preparing for this talk, adding to my emotional feelings. Thankfully, she is on the road to recovery now.
In December of 2011, I traveled to India for work. This was a very emotional trip for me, you can imagine. In a very short time, I created four Facebook photo albums so that I could always remember:
My Own Diagnosis
As I mentioned earlier, Autistic Spectrum Disorders are considered genetic as well, so that really is not the end of our story. After going through all these experiences with my children, just a few months ago in December, I found myself in a very dark place. I had stopped daily exercise and healthy eating, which are both activities I've come to learn are critical to keeping me in a positive mental state. I myself was experiencing feelings of severe mental disorder. I grew very concerned that I was failing as a parent. I also found myself writing quite a lot about Asperger's still, posing the question "Is It Asperger's?" for myself. I finally made the decision to consult a professional therapist. I wanted a professional opinion about whether or not it was appropriate that I was suggesting in my writing that I might be experiencing disorder as a result of what is labeled Asperger's Syndrome, and I wanted reassurance that I was supporting my kids as they needed. Diagnosis just a few weeks ago was yes, I do seem to fit the description of an Aspergirl, though I have not gone through the detailed paperwork procedures that normally come with a formal diagnosis. Knowing this about myself somehow gives me feelings of acceptance and peace.
The good news is that my therapist also helped me reframe my thoughts so that I realize that I am doing well in raising my children. Despite the fact that I experience a lot of feelings of disorder in my everyday life, I have a fantastic support system. Many of you have actually provided quite a lot of support, and for that I am very grateful as well. Through volunteering and learning strategies like especially those from the Virtues Project, I have found ways to work through my challenges. I have good days, and I have bad days, as I have come to learn most of us do. I've learned social skills that I didn't even realize I was missing - most profound perhaps the idea that we should look into a person's eyes when speaking and that hugging is a normal and good way to interact with people even after they are no longer small children. I have also learned that things like doing Piyo daily (which is sort of like Yoga), virtues reflections, and meditation are also critical to keeping me in a positive state. I like to tell people about my experiences, as I have seen that doing so helps other people. I even know of adults diagnosed in their 50s and 70s, just to try to understand what makes them feel so different and disordered at times, and who say they feel better because I have shared my story. It seems that always, during my darkest moments, someone comes along and helps me through. I like to say, "There are Angels Among Us", as the song by Alabama says.
At this point, we received a standing ovation, and many hugs, handshakes and thank you messages were received on the way out of the church. Great support :-)
Pledge forms are available at the back of the church, or online registration is available. You may also make a donation to the team via any walker, or by using the online form available at: https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/TeamFundraisingPage.aspx?teamID=789497&langPref=en-CA
If you enjoyed my talk today, please consider finding my fan page in Facebook as well, to follow me and give me a "Like": https://www.facebook.com/Christine.Marie.MacKenzie/.
Your comments are always appreciated, too.
More about the Year of Connor's Diagnosis
During the summer of 2011, we did a road trip to Ottawa - me, my kids and a dear friend. She had a stroke in January, as I was preparing for this talk, adding to my emotional feelings. Thankfully, she is on the road to recovery now.
In December of 2011, I traveled to India for work. This was a very emotional trip for me, you can imagine. In a very short time, I created four Facebook photo albums so that I could always remember:
- Trip to CSC India - Noida: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150509089255763.430327.687515762&type=1&l=91ead50ea0
- Trip to CSC India - Hyderabad: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150496179110763.428959.687515762&type=1&l=7ff845aa4c
- Taj Mahal and Agrafort: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150515068930763.430816.687515762&type=1&l=33a0148adb
- Private Catholic school in Hyderabad: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150507626825763.430173.687515762&type=1&l=cf1b42ae11
As I mentioned earlier, Autistic Spectrum Disorders are considered genetic as well, so that really is not the end of our story. After going through all these experiences with my children, just a few months ago in December, I found myself in a very dark place. I had stopped daily exercise and healthy eating, which are both activities I've come to learn are critical to keeping me in a positive mental state. I myself was experiencing feelings of severe mental disorder. I grew very concerned that I was failing as a parent. I also found myself writing quite a lot about Asperger's still, posing the question "Is It Asperger's?" for myself. I finally made the decision to consult a professional therapist. I wanted a professional opinion about whether or not it was appropriate that I was suggesting in my writing that I might be experiencing disorder as a result of what is labeled Asperger's Syndrome, and I wanted reassurance that I was supporting my kids as they needed. Diagnosis just a few weeks ago was yes, I do seem to fit the description of an Aspergirl, though I have not gone through the detailed paperwork procedures that normally come with a formal diagnosis. Knowing this about myself somehow gives me feelings of acceptance and peace.
The good news is that my therapist also helped me reframe my thoughts so that I realize that I am doing well in raising my children. Despite the fact that I experience a lot of feelings of disorder in my everyday life, I have a fantastic support system. Many of you have actually provided quite a lot of support, and for that I am very grateful as well. Through volunteering and learning strategies like especially those from the Virtues Project, I have found ways to work through my challenges. I have good days, and I have bad days, as I have come to learn most of us do. I've learned social skills that I didn't even realize I was missing - most profound perhaps the idea that we should look into a person's eyes when speaking and that hugging is a normal and good way to interact with people even after they are no longer small children. I have also learned that things like doing Piyo daily (which is sort of like Yoga), virtues reflections, and meditation are also critical to keeping me in a positive state. I like to tell people about my experiences, as I have seen that doing so helps other people. I even know of adults diagnosed in their 50s and 70s, just to try to understand what makes them feel so different and disordered at times, and who say they feel better because I have shared my story. It seems that always, during my darkest moments, someone comes along and helps me through. I like to say, "There are Angels Among Us", as the song by Alabama says.
Epiphany
About 6 months ago, the company I work for started promoting the idea that as employees in DXC Technology we should try to establish a "personal brand" for ourselves via social media, to illustrate the power of technology. As a person with a career in I.T., but not really a technical person, more in an advisor or project leader role, I was a little puzzled about what I was going to do in response to this corporate suggestion. I set to work reflecting, "What is my "personal brand?", and then set a goal for myself to "go public" with my message - to tell everyone what I am truly passionate about. Crazy as it may sound, I decided to create myself a Facebook "fan" page, and set a goal to get at least 100 people to "Like" my page by end of our corporate fiscal year at end of March, which is when we will go through performance reviews at work. That led me to go digging through my picture archives to try to find a good "cover photo" for my fan page, and in September 2017 I found this older picture of my daughter that I think is just perfect! That picture was taken around the time our family received our first diagnosis of mental disorder, when Connor was labeled as having Asperger's. As we have recently concluded the season of Epiphany here in church, I reflect that somehow God must have known that one day I would want a picture like that to promote the personal message I would want to share in social media.
Through my journey, I have come to learn that we are all "original", I have great love for "artistic" people, and I do not want anyone "sad" because of their experiences. That is what I feel is my "personal brand" and so that is why I chose that picture as my cover photo for my Facebook page and why I brought it here today to share with you. I believe we are each unique human beings, perfect according to God's design, living in a chaotic world that is prone to experiencing feelings of disorder! We all just need to love and support each other and all the world's problems will be resolved.
I also note that my Christmas tree is still up in our basement today, even though Epiphany is long over, as I have been so busy the past 3 weeks that I haven't put it away yet, but I'll take care of that perhaps this evening! :-)
Recall now my reflections about that tree from January 7th: http://isitaspergerssyn.blogspot.ca/2018/01/reborn.html
I also note that my Christmas tree is still up in our basement today, even though Epiphany is long over, as I have been so busy the past 3 weeks that I haven't put it away yet, but I'll take care of that perhaps this evening! :-)
Recall now my reflections about that tree from January 7th: http://isitaspergerssyn.blogspot.ca/2018/01/reborn.html
Additional details, as printed in our church bulletin:
The “Faith in Action Team” of the Pastoral Charge has again registered team “Coldest Night Warmest Hearts” in “The Coldest Night of the Year Walk”, in support of Pictou County Roots for Youth Society in New Glasgow on Saturday, February 24th starting at Christian Fellowship Church (489 Abercrombie Rd. New Glasgow). Registration opens at 4 pm. Walkers must sign a waiver at check-in (if under 17, must have guardian sign), and receive a beautiful CNOY toque by either raising a minimum amount ($150 for adults/$75 for youth 17 and under) or paying a registration fee. Walkers who do not raise the minimum are expected to pay a registration fee (waived for kids 12 and under) that still goes to Roots for Youth, but that is not a donation (no tax receipt) and is non-refundable. New this year, to try to encourage people to register early and to allow organizers to better know numbers: If you register before Feb 19th, the registration fee is $25, but after that it is $40. To register and if necessary secure your fee at $25, you can simply inform Team Coordinator – Christine MacKenzie regarding your plans before Feb 19th – cmackenz@eastlink.ca or 902-382-2082. You just need to provide your name and indicate whether or not you want the free toque. Opening Ceremonies are at 5 pm and walk starts at 5:15 pm. The route will be well marked out and the turnaround point will be the New Glasgow Farmer's Market where washrooms and warm drinks will be available for all. Watch the signs for the 2km, 5 km and 10 km routes. The event will close with a warm, light meal served to all walkers and volunteers between 6 and 8 pm. We hope to raise $2,000. A tax receipt will be issued for each donation of $20 or more (if email or mailing address is provided with donation).
Will now take some time for "processing", then sometime in next week I will post my personal reflections about being an Aspergirl, as I've been preparing :-)
The “Faith in Action Team” of the Pastoral Charge has again registered team “Coldest Night Warmest Hearts” in “The Coldest Night of the Year Walk”, in support of Pictou County Roots for Youth Society in New Glasgow on Saturday, February 24th starting at Christian Fellowship Church (489 Abercrombie Rd. New Glasgow). Registration opens at 4 pm. Walkers must sign a waiver at check-in (if under 17, must have guardian sign), and receive a beautiful CNOY toque by either raising a minimum amount ($150 for adults/$75 for youth 17 and under) or paying a registration fee. Walkers who do not raise the minimum are expected to pay a registration fee (waived for kids 12 and under) that still goes to Roots for Youth, but that is not a donation (no tax receipt) and is non-refundable. New this year, to try to encourage people to register early and to allow organizers to better know numbers: If you register before Feb 19th, the registration fee is $25, but after that it is $40. To register and if necessary secure your fee at $25, you can simply inform Team Coordinator – Christine MacKenzie regarding your plans before Feb 19th – cmackenz@eastlink.ca or 902-382-2082. You just need to provide your name and indicate whether or not you want the free toque. Opening Ceremonies are at 5 pm and walk starts at 5:15 pm. The route will be well marked out and the turnaround point will be the New Glasgow Farmer's Market where washrooms and warm drinks will be available for all. Watch the signs for the 2km, 5 km and 10 km routes. The event will close with a warm, light meal served to all walkers and volunteers between 6 and 8 pm. We hope to raise $2,000. A tax receipt will be issued for each donation of $20 or more (if email or mailing address is provided with donation).
Will now take some time for "processing", then sometime in next week I will post my personal reflections about being an Aspergirl, as I've been preparing :-)

Audio: http://isitaspergerssyn.blogspot.ca/2018/02/audio-of-walking-together-on-coldest.html
ReplyDeleteThanks!
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure :)
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